Chinese Dramas, Drama Recaps

Recap: Love and Redemption (Ep. 51)

Xuan Ji finds Si Feng, but winning him back is a whole other matter. We get some classic love triangle drama this episode and it’s tough to tell what’s stronger: Xuan Ji’s persistence or Si Feng’s stubbornness?


Si Feng identifies the demon as a jueyuan that has recently cultivated a human form. But jueyuan are usually supposed to be in Xishu. Why is he here? The demon says that women are their most dangerous when they’re new brides. He reveals that he was once betrayed by a woman he took to be his bride. It turned out that she was a cultivator and she tried to kill him, then killed all his brethren. Now he gets his revenge by killing newlywed brides.

Xuan Ji says that he was innocent when he was betrayed, but when he started taking his revenge on innocent brides, he committed a great sin and now deserves to die. The jueyuan threatens to kill Ah Lan now if they don’t leave immediately.

Si Feng tells the demon that he’ll let him go if he releases Ah Lan. Xuan Ji turns to him — he can’t let the demon go. But Si Feng tells her to shut up. She doesn’t understand what it feels like to be betrayed. Didn’t she do the same exact thing and vow to kill him when she found out he was a demon?

Xuan Ji says that she never wanted to kill him. She never wanted him to die. He finally turns to look her in the eye. What about when they infiltrated Lize Palace and slaughtered young garuda? What about the Zhuque Vase?

Xuan Ji says that she didn’t know about the secret tunnel and didn’t know that the vase would kill him. She acknowledges that she was at fault, but she can explain.

The demon interrupts — he’s a demon? He’s a garuda?

Si Feng smiles as he walks toward the demon and confirms that he is a demon. Aren’t all demons friends? But as he approaches, he smoothly manages to grab Ah Lan and stab the demon in one fluid motion. The demon is surprised. Si Feng says there’s no excuse for his murders, then destroys the demon.

Xuan Ji approaches Si Feng again and asks for an opportunity to explain herself, but Si Feng cuts her off. In the end, they’re human and demon and each on different paths. Does she still not understand?

He looks away from her and says that he did love her once, but he doesn’t want to be with her anymore. Xuan Ji tears up, but forces a smile and says that she still won’t leave. He told her that she forgot him in all her past lives. But this life, she won’t forget him and she won’t leave him. He can hate her if she wants, but she won’t let go.

“If you don’t leave, I’m the one who will die,” Si Feng says, still not looking at her.

Xuan Ji drops her hand. Si Feng carries Ah Lan away.

He’s just laid Ah Lan down when he suddenly clutches his chest and coughs up blood. He used too much energy against the demon and now Juntian Cehai is reacting.

Si Feng soaks himself in a cold pool and looks up at an alcove where a mushroom is growing. He worries he doesn’t have enough time left and won’t be able to wait until its grown.

Si Ming and Qing Long report to Bai Lin that they’ve been unable to find Chu Xuan Ji. Bai Lin is displeased. She’s a mortal made of flesh and blood. How can they not find a simple mortal? What about her accomplice? Si Ming cautiously reports that they can’t find him either. Bai Lin settles for demanding Yi Huan be found. He stole the heavenly eye. Even if he can hide himself, he can’t hide the eye. Bai Hu looks around awkwardly and asks how he knows the heavenly eye was stolen. Bai Lin is furious that they didn’t even realize it was gone and calls them useless.

Teng She finds Xuan Ji standing outside Si Feng’s house. She asks him what she should do. Si Feng says that if she stays, she’ll hurt him, but she wants him by her side. Is she being too selfish? Teng She is full of disdain for how wishy washy mortals are. Why is she asking if she should stay or go when she spent the past year looking for him so she could stay by his side?

Teng She asks if she’s going in or not. She made him wander the world — fine — but why are they now just punishing themselves by standing outside? Xuan Ji still can’t make up her mind about what to do. She’s worried she’ll hurt him if she stays with him, and she’ll never forgive herself if he dies from the lovers’ curse.

Teng She points out that if Si Feng wanted to lift the curse, he would’ve just taken the forgetting pill. He didn’t, which means he can’t let go of Xuan Ji. If she leaves, how will the curse ever be lifted? She needs to stay and show Si Feng that she sincerely loves him. Otherwise, who’s going to lift the curse? Him?

The coaxes a smile out of Xuan Ji. She realizes that Teng She is right.

Teng She gets tired of standing around and has been missing Si Feng’s cooking, so he follows his nose and barges in through Si Feng’s front doors. He makes himself right at home and suggests that Si Feng should share his food with them because eating alone is no fun. But Si Feng just humorlessly says that his house is too small for all of them and asks them to leave.

Teng She and Xuan Ji claim that the world outside is dangerous. They could fall and break a leg outside, or get into an accident flying on their swords. Si Feng says that Xuan Ji never used to be this bothersome, but Xuan Ji responds that people change.

Si Feng isn’t any more welcoming, but Xuan Ji runs off to cook some more food for them. Teng She convinces Si Feng to talk outside. He knows that Si Feng is here for the cold pool and that his body is falling apart, but Si Feng cuts him off. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Teng She asks why Si Feng won’t forgive Xuan Ji this time after he’s already done so much for her. But Si Feng says that she’s always been the same. When she was the God of War in the heavenly realm, she only spoke to him because she was afraid of being alone. It’s the same now.

Si Feng starts comparing people to wine and water. Drink more wine and you get warmer, drink more water and you get colder. But after a while, you don’t want to drink anything anymore. Teng She says he’s made it clear that he doesn’t care about Xuan Ji anymore, which means he doesn’t care if she lives or dies, so he can just let her go destroy herself. Si Feng thinks Teng She is trying to trick him into caring and doesn’t fall for it — Xuan Ji is the God of War, what harm can befall her now?

Teng She says that they both know about her identity, otherwise Si Feng wouldn’t have gone to such great lengths to pretend to be Mosha Star. Si Feng still can’t figure out how two such different identities can exist within the same person. Teng She isn’t allowed to say what he saw, but he guesses that the heavenly realm is looking for Xuan Ji, which gets Si Feng’s attention. Teng She knows that the heavenly realm is summoning everyone back and he thinks it has to do with Xuan Ji.

Si Feng turns away. He thinks Teng She is still trying to trick him. The Liuli lamp is safe, what reason would the heavenly realm have to punish Xuan Ji? Teng She doesn’t know, but he thinks it’s time he headed back up to the heavenly realm to investigate some more. He tells Si Feng that he’s leaving Xuan Ji with him for now for safekeeping. Teng She vanishes. A black crow caws and flies away.

Si Feng goes back inside and hears a crash from the kitchen. He finds Xuan Ji on the ground with a nasty-looking burn on her leg. She asks if he still cares about her. He brusquely tells her where the burn medication is and tells her to go deal with it herself. She fetches the medicine and asks if he’ll put it on for her.

Before he can respond, Ah Lan shows up, looking for him. When she spots Xuan Ji, she starts addressing Si Feng as her husband. Xuan Ji doesn’t like that and says that she already knows their marriage was a lie, so there’s no need to pretend. But Ah Lan thinks that Xuan Ji should go. She doesn’t care about her past with Si Feng and it’s clear that he doesn’t either.

Ah Lan grabs Xuan Ji by the arm and tries to toss her out of the house, but Xuan Ji shakes her off and something falls to the ground. Si Feng’s hairpin. Xuan Ji picks it up, saying she looked for it for so long. Si Feng impassively responds that there’s no need for her to pretend to care about something she once threw away so callously.

Ah Lan grabs it out of Xuan Ji’s hands, saying that Si Feng gave it to her. Xuan Ji is still confused, even after Si Feng points out that her breaking it and leaving it behind in Qingmu must have been a metaphor for severing ties. She says there must be a misunderstanding there — she would never break it. But Si Feng isn’t interested in talking about the past and says that if she’s done with the medicine, she should leave.

Xuan Ji plops onto the ground. She’s not going anywhere. Besides, Teng She is gone and there’s no one to carry her. She can’t walk anywhere with her leg like this.

Si Feng tells Ah Lan to go find a guest from the inn who can bring Xuan Ji back. But Xuan Ji grabs onto Ah Lan’s dress to prevent her from leaving and tries to create more excuses to stay. Si Feng knows that a superficial wound like the burn doesn’t bother Xuan Ji at all, but she continues staring at him with her wide eyes and asks if he’s really going to push her away like this. He was the one who told her to not ignore the pain even when she couldn’t feel anything.

Si Feng accuses Xuan Ji of shamelessly trying to manipulate him, but Xuan Ji claims that it really does hurt. She can prove it. But before Xuan Ji does anything, Si Feng looks up at Ah Lan and says she can head back. He’ll take care of this problem himself. Ah Lan offers to stay, but Si Feng doesn’t say anything so she leaves with some warning words for Xuan Ji.

Xuan Ji smiles at Si Feng once Ah Lan is gone. He’s going to let her stay? Si Feng points out that it’s not good for her reputation for her to stay with him. Xuan Ji suggests he should just marry her then. Si Feng ignores her and goes to brew her some medicine. Xuan Ji smiles to herself when he’s gone.

Xuan Ji has fallen asleep by the time Si Feng gets the medicine ready. He gently checks out her burn mark, which does look pretty painful, and gently puts ointment on it. He suddenly reels from pain, but manages to draw the blanket over Xuan Ji before staggering away.

The next morning, Xuan Ji greets Si Feng as he returns and asks where he went. She’s brewed him some Sanqing tea, just the way he likes it, and sets it down in front of him. Ah Lan arrives with food and milk tea for Si Feng. Xuan Ji tells her that he always drinks Sanqing tea in the morning, but then Si Feng says that he doesn’t have that habit anymore. Xuan Ji frowns and Ah Lan smiles.

Xuan Ji watches and frowns as Si Feng eats and drinks what Ah Lan has brought and compliments her cooking. Ah Lan offers to go up to the mountains foraging for ingredients with him. He accepts her offer and stands up to head out. Before they leave, he tells Xuan Ji that her injury seems to be better and she should leave if she can.

In the mountains, Ah Lan says that she did Si Feng another big favor back there. How will he thank her? Si Feng thanks her for her help, but also feels bad for using her. She doesn’t mind. She’s eager for Xuan Ji to leave so that she can be with him. Si Feng turns to her and gently turns her down — if she wants to learn medicine from him, he’s more than happy to teach her, but if she’s looking for anything else, she should go elsewhere. Ah Lan looks disappointed, but is happy to keep learning medicine from him. She returns his hairpin, which she repaired for him.

Xuan Ji shows up, having followed them up the mountain, and tells Si Feng to wait for her. Ah Lan offers to chase Xuan Ji away, but he says there’s no need. They should just go. Xuan Ji trips and falls before she can catch up and Si Feng turns, but then Ah Lan grabs his arm and they keep going.

Xuan Ji spots a pair of butterflies flying by and chases after them. Si Feng glances back and frowns to see she’s disappeared. He tells Ah Lan to go on ahead.

Xuan Ji follows the butterflies to the edge of a cliff. Si Feng catches up to her, worried, but she turns to him, excited about the butterflies. Then they disappear. He turns to leave, but Xuan Ji stops him, asking if he left because he was angry. He shakes off her hand and repeats that he doesn’t want to see her. He’s the only one who will die if she stays. But Xuan Ji says that if she can’t lift the lovers’ curse, she’ll die with him. She pulls out a knife and cuts herself with it. Every time the lovers’ curse hurts him, she’ll cut herself and suffer with him. If he dies, she’ll die with him.

He tells her to stop playing games with her life, but she says she’s not. He’s always been making decisions for her, but she can choose for herself. She may have initially hung onto him because she was afraid of being alone, but that’s not true anymore. Just because she didn’t understand before doesn’t mean she can’t change. She’s realized that she doesn’t want to be with him because she’s lonely — she genuinely wants to live and grow old with him.

He can leave again if he wants, but she’ll just keep following him until he believes her, even if it’s for the rest of her life. Si Feng tells her that it’s too late — it doesn’t matter if he believes her or not. He tells her to go catch her butterflies. Xuan Ji tells him that she only wanted to catch the butterflies because she heard a legend that they can grant couples happy endings. But she wasn’t able to catch them. Si Feng says that it’s their fate. But Xuan Ji, of course, doesn’t believe in fate.

Si Feng says that if Xuan Ji won’t leave, he will. He’ll leave this place. She says that she’ll wait for him to come back. And what if he doesn’t? She’ll wait for the rest of her life. He suddenly grows weak and she puts out a worried hand, but he just tells her that she can wait for the rest of her life.

Xuan Ji waits for Si Feng on his porch step, watching as it pours. She starts sneezing and shivers, but stays there. Si Feng soaks in the cold pool, but it soon becomes clear that even that isn’t helping him much anymore. He coughs blood.

The next morning, Xuan Ji searches for Si Feng. He still hasn’t returned. She asks Ah Lan if she’s seen him. Ah Lan accuses her of making him so angry that he left.

Xuan Ji searches the town and then the mountains. Eventually, she collapses in the forest as it starts to snow and cries to the sky that there are still so many things she hasn’t said to him yet. She only swore to kill him because her father forced her. He never heard the words that she actually wanted to say.

She doesn’t realize that Si Feng is watching her from behind a tree. It doesn’t matter how sincere she is — he doesn’t even know how long he has left to live. His only hope is that if he disappears, she will give up and forget him.

Later, Ah Lan finds Xuan Ji sitting outside in the snow and asks if she’s gone mad. He’s already gone. He won’t see her sitting here. Why doesn’t she just go inside? But Xuan Ji shakes her head. She promised she would wait for him. If he doesn’t see her when he comes back, he’ll think she’s abandoned him.

Ah Lan leaves Xuan Ji there and visits Si Feng to give him a coat. He asks if Xuan Ji has left yet. Ah Lan tells him that Xuan Ji refuses to move and is nearly frozen. Si Feng asks Ah Lan to give the coat to Xuan Ji instead and tell her to not wait anymore. He’s not coming back. Ah Lan says she’ll do what he asks, but she doesn’t think it’ll change anything.

Ah Lan is upset that Xuan Ji is still waiting for Si Feng and throws the coat down next to her. She doesn’t understand why Xuan Ji would pointlessly sacrifice herself like this. Xuan Ji just asks her to move. She’s blocking the road — what if Si Feng comes back and doesn’t see her?

Ah Lan tells Si Feng that she tried, but it looks like Xuan Ji will freeze to death there.

By the time Si Feng returns, Xuan Ji has collapsed. He tries to get her to wake up. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles to see him, then faints.

Si Feng carries her inside and tries to warm her up. Eventually, Xuan Ji wakes up with tears in her eyes. She immediately clings to him with a hug and refuses to let him leave, not even to brew her medicine or get her another blanket. She says that she was never afraid growing up because she had no heart, but now she’s so afraid that if he leaves, she’ll never see him again. She doesn’t know what she has to do to convince him that she loves him. She tells him that she saw their past lives in Fenru City and realized that it wasn’t that she didn’t love him — she just realized too late.

Si Feng hugs Xuan Ji again and starts crying, too. He is a little angry that she came so late, but he’s so happy that she’s here.


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